1: INT. MAVIS’ HOUSE - NIGHT

A bored MAVIS stares blankly at a television playing the show Super Milk Chan, surrounded by Minnie, Kourtney and Evelyn, who are all elated by the program.

                                KOURTNEY

                                (amused)

                        Oh my god.

Evelyn’s phone buzzes and she reads the front.

                                EVELYN

                        Care-Bear said she’s

                        on the way.

Mavis looks over.

                                MAVIS

                        Okay.

The girls all continue watching the program until their

Attention is taken away by a car slowly pulling up in front of

The house. Out, quickly, pops CAROLINE with a laptop bag.

                                MINNIE

                        Shit, that was fast.

Caroline speeds to the front door. Minnie lets her in, she’s

in slight distress. She sits and opens her laptop.

                                EVELYN

                        Woah, woah.

                                MAVIS

                        Well, hello.

                                CAROLINE

                        Have you guys read

                        Betty’s MySpace?

                                MAVIS

                        Who? No?

                                CAROLINE

                        You need to see this.

Caroline turns her computer around to reveal a big block of text on

a blog post.

                                MAVIS

                        Carol, I can’t fucking

                        read that.

Caroline turns her laptop back to herself.

                                CAROLINE

                                (dryly)

I'm terrible at

updating. Really.

So many things have

happened in the last

week but I was too

lazy to log onto

livejournal and

write them out and

Also because I don’t

really care who reads

this i’m just gonna

Post this here, Laugh

Out Loud.

                                MAVIS

                        Alright, alright.

                        get to the…

She does a ‘get on with it’ motion.

        CAROLINE

Anyways, Mavis Blaese-Vera

is a fake, lanky ass bitch.

Mavis leans forward, baffled, followed by Evelyn.

        CAROLINE

(cont’d)

                        Last week, I went

                        to The Flower Patch

                        with my boyfriend to see

                        Gaudy John open for

                        To Own The Stage and

                        we stood near this group

                        of talkative…

                                (sigh)

                        …girls who seemed nice

                        and pretty; so I walked

                        up to the only one I

                        recognized which was

                        Mavis Mutilate. and if you

                        went to Glenwire West

                        you’d know that she

                        was a huge.. Whatever..

                        Basically, she’s saying

                        You were all rude to her

                        and didn’t say anything

                        Or whatever.

                                MAVIS

                        And you said this was..

                        Betty…

                                CAROLINE

                        Battleready; Betty Battleready.

                                KOURTNEY

                        Betty Battleready?

                                EVELYN

                        You know her?

                                KOURTNEY

                        Yeah, we went to West

                        with her. The fuck is

                        she doing running her

                        mouth?

                                MAVIS

                        A lanky bitch…

The room goes cold as the girls await their next move.

                                CAROLINE

                        I just wanted to see

                        If you wanted to..

                        respond or..

Mavis stews in anger, she’s hurt. But, doesn’t show it, instead

She shakes her head smiling.

                                MAVIS

                        Fuck, man.

(pause)

Minnie.

Minnie, who had been looking down to the floor, looks up to Mavis.

                                MAVIS

                        Do you still got

                        the number for

                        That Milwaukee

dude? Hacker?

MINNIE

Yeah, why?

        MAVIS

Tell him i’ll pay

him three thousand

dollars if he can

give us her address

and fork bomb her

MySpace, StickAm,

LiveJournal, all

that shit.

Kourtney looks at Minnie.

                                KOURTNEY

                        We know where she lives.

MAVIS

                        Uhh, alright. Perfect!

                        Just call him about the

                        Fork Bomb and.. Bump it

                        down to two, Okay?

Kourtney and Minnie nod.

                                EVELYN

                        So, what do you wanna

                        do?

                                MAVIS

                        We’ll hit her.

Caroline and Evelyn look at each other and back at Mavis.

                                CAROLINE

                        Mavis, are you sure

                        this is the best-

                                MAVIS

                        Oh, Ubph, Wait- Is

                        my name not Lanky

                        Bitch? Cos’ I thought

                        so too. Matter fact,

                        I never heard that shit

                        In my life.

Evelyn looks pitifully at Mavis, knowing where the root

of the anger comes from.

                                MAVIS

                        Her boyfriend lives

                        with her right?

Kourtney nods.

                                MAVIS

                        We’ll hit him too.

The room falls flat.

CUT TO

2: INT. MAVIS’ HOUSE - DAY

Mavis paces back and forth in the kitchen with a CIGARETTE, while Caroline sits with her fists in her face, she’s having COFFEE. Evelyn walks in and the girls all look at each other, grimly. Evelyn sits down, followed by Mavis. The three sit in silence, not looking at each other for a brief moment.

                                MAVIS

                        Sleep well?

Evelyn nods.

                                EVELYN

                                (meekly)

                        Yeah.

                                MAVIS

                        We were just discussing

                        proper enforcement methods.

Caroline, still upset and unmoving, doubtfully looks up at Evelyn

from the table. Evelyn looks at her, then Mavis, she glances away for a second and then leans in suddenly.

                                EVELYN

                        Mavis, you’re not really

                        going to do this are you.

Mavis stares at Evelyn, bemused.

                                MAVIS

                        Oh, you think I won’t

                        do it?

Evelyn stares back in disbelief.

MAVIS

                        My reputation is

                        On the line here,

                        Dao, i’m not just

                        gonna let some fuckin’

                        Floozy, what sounds

                        like, fucking bartard

shit talk me- like-

Mavis tugs her cigarette.

                                MAVIS

                        On my own fucking turf-

                                (exhale)

                        Okay?

                                EVELYN

                        Right, but this is-

Mavis starts walking out of the kitchen, only to fake out

and turn around.

                                MAVIS

                                (mockingly)

                        But this is!!

                                (real)

                        Bro, you don’t even-!

                        You know what, fuck this.

                        I don’t even know why

                        I have to explain myself

                        here to either of you.

Caroline at this point has her face scrunched and is confused.

She throws her hands up to say ‘Huh? What?’. Evelyn just tries

to understand.                

                                EVELYN

                        No, yeah. But, like,

                        what I’m trying to say

                        here is that jumping

                        some girl, a civilian

                        concert goer mind you,

                        and her boyfriend

                        because she talked shit

                        about you on the internet

isn’t the most rational

                        or good decision?

                        Especially, when you’re

                        in the position you’re

                        in now, right?

                                MAVIS

                        I cannot take disrespect,

                        Evelyn. Do you know what

                        that does to my reputation?

EVELYN

                        What reputation? You’ve

                        only been at this half a

                        year!

                                CAROLINE

                        She did drop the keep

                        the government though…

                                EVELYN

                        What?

Evelyn looks at Caroline, then to Mavis, baffled.

                                MAVIS

                        She’s right.

She looks back at Caroline.

                                EVELYN

                        You in support of this?

Caroline hesitates.

                                CAROLINE

                        No.. I'm just saying.

                                EVELYN

                        Unbelievable.

                                MAVIS

                        Well, you better believe

                        I certainly don’t need

                        approval from either of

                        you to do as I see fit.

                        So, you can both go fuck

                        yourselves as far as i’m

                        concerned.

                        CAROL & EVE

                        What the fuck, etc.

                                EVELYN

                        Tommy won’t have it.

                                MAVIS

                        Tom would’ve done the

                        same thing.

                                EVELYN

                                (angry)

                        Uh, no, he wouldn’t have.

                                MAVIS

                                (interrupting)

                        Uhh, yeah, he would.

                                EVELYN

                                (furious)

                        You have no fucking…

                        You have zero idea

                        what you’re doing here.

                        Zero!

                                MAVIS

                                (fed up)

                        Here’s what i’m gonna

                        do, okay? Are you

                        paying attention?

                                EVELYN

                        Yeah, Go!

                                MAVIS

                        I’m gonna hire out.

                        Alright? So that

                        we make sure..

                        that this doesn’t

                        come back to us,

                        Alright?

Evelyn and Caroline are still confused.

                                EVELYN

                        But, their still

                        Gonna know it’s

                        you though, right?                

                                MAVIS

                        Right.

                                EVELYN

                        Yeah?

                                MAVIS

                        Yeah.

                                EVELYN

                        So..?

                                MAVIS

                        That’s the fucking

                        point, Eve.

                                EVELYN

                        What, cruelty?

Mavis looks at her like, ‘no shit’.

                                EVELYN

                        Okay.. but.. This

                        is gonna end up

                        fucking you. You

                        Know that, at least?

Mavis nods.

                                MAVIS

                        Let the good times roll.

MAVIS inhales and exhales her cigarette, enveloping the ceiling in smoke. Caroline stares at the table while Evelyn eyes Mavis with deep conviction as if to say, ‘you are going to get us all killed very, very soon.’